"I'm going to spanghew that computer into next door's garden if you don't get off it!"...
Spanghew: transitive verb: to throw or jerk something violently into the air.
... is a common uttering from Mrs Boffin, usually as I sit typing away about Billy's latest formation change, or how well Reidy is doing. She doesn't understand, you see, she can't begin to comprehend how addictive writing a blog can get - she just wants me to go and sit with her and spend some "quality time" watching The X Factor.
It started as a bit of writing practice - I dream of arranging words for a living, the only problem is that you have to be good at it, so between dawdling chapters of a novel, I set myself a few projects for regular and varied practice - Forest Boffin is one such.
Lies, damned lies and statistics
I try to avoid gossip and rumour - there is no lack of places to
go for that - the blog is devoted to what's happening on the pitch and how I see it. Although much of the content is opinion driven, I try always to be able to justify my thoughts - this is very important to me, I aim to use facts to build a picture.
It is up to you how you use and factual material on Forest Boffin - I'm not trying to pull the wool over anybody's eyes - an accusation which has been typed out in the past. If I point out that Henderson's minutes on the pitch per goal tally is actually quite good, it's not an attempt to deceive, it is information for you to digest. I suspect some of the "lies, damned lies and statistics" brigade don't like any facts that oppose the (usually negative) opinion they have formed and choose this method to ignore them - but it's facts. They are inconvenient sometimes, but they should be used with caution.
A football fact is like a torch in a dark room - it only shows part of the story, but is useful in building up an accurate, fair picture.
Information, information, information
I try to make sure all of the stats on Forest Boffin are accurate, but I'm not a business - the day job, and girlfriend (yes - I do have one, despite what Leicester fans recently supposed), limit the time I have, so if you spot an error, please let me know.
Any criticism of the blog - specific or in general, is welcomed, as this is all about learning. Are the articles interesting? Logical? Accurate? Well written? How could they be better? Let me know if you've time.
If you would like me to write something for you, well every man has his price and mine is cheaper than most (usually just a thank-you) - get in touch, my e-mail is email@example.com - I need all the practice I can get!
If you're British Gas, the cheque is in the post.